August 2, 2017
Do you suffer from menstrual cramps, backaches and bloating? Are your periods heavy and gross? Well you don’t have to suffer or worry anymore!
Anyone who has reluctantly consumed Torpedo Falls’ first two books, THE GODS OF BORE or ON THE CRAPPER, can attest to the psychological and physiological repercussions befallen on them.
HEAVYWEIGHT FLOW is the third and final treatment of this three-book series.
Reading Torpedo Falls latest pretentious work will drive you insane, but look at the bright side it will help you forget about your menstrual pain.
For a peaceful period, choose the best menstrual pain distraction around with HEAVYWEIGHT FLOW. You can get through your period easier with HEAVYWEIGHT FLOW as it targets a variety of symptoms.
HEAVYWEIGHT FLOW does not alleviate cramps, but intensifies a variety of ailments to help distract from the backaches, bloating and fatigue. And if you need help getting a restful night’s sleep, try Torpedo’s insomnia busting piece THE GODS OF BORE.
Men don’t forget menstrual pain can also cramp your style. Help your significant other remedy her pain by reading her passages of HEAVYWEIGHT FLOW.
In the days leading up to her period make her uncomfortable as can be by rattling her brain with Torpedo’s migraine inducing prose. Some of these menstrual pain distractions will increase irritability, but can help with that uncomfortable bloating. If the bloating does not subside perhaps give the constipation alleviating ON THE CRAPPER a try.
You’ll also find that the turgid verses on the pages of HEAVYWEIGHT FLOW will help with all of your feminine care needs.
You can use a full selection of feminine protection products, but with HEAVYWEIGHT FLOW the thick absorbent pages can offer you varying levels of protection that maxi pads, pantiliners and tampons don’t.
HEAVYWEIGHT FLOW (Turd Publishing, Paperback, 316 pages) can be found in the feminine product aisle and where fedora hats are sold.
Make those debilitating menstrual cramps go away. Become a world champ and order your copy of HEAVYWEIGHT FLOW today!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Warrior poet and Boxing revisionist Torpedo Falls is a member of the Saving Historical Information Team (SHIT), Preservation Of Organized Prizefighting (POOP), Coalition of Researchers for the Advancement of Pugilism (CRAP) and is a founding member of the Transcendental Universal Rankings Department (TURD). He was born and raised in Sleepy Hallow, New York.