The Very First Mailsack Edition of ‘Ask The Doc’

canelo-trout (1)
Doc_LouisBy Doc Louis
March 15, 2013

Fans want the low down on Canelo-Trout, Bradley-Provodnikov, the war of words between Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Andre Ward and what’s next for Bernard Hopkins in the very first mailsack edition of Ask The Doc.

CANELO vs. TROUT

When Canelo vs.Trout was announced I was super pumped. This is a 50/50 fight and it’s too close to call. I have no idea who I should place some money on? How do you see this fight unfolding?

-Leo

The Doc’s Response: At night I can’t sleep, I toss and turn. Candlesticks in the dark, visions of bodies bein’ burned. Four walls closin’ in gettin’ bigger. I’m paranoid, sleepin’ with my finger on the trigger. My mother’s always stressin’ I ain’t livin’ right, but I ain’t going out without a fight. See, everytime my eyes close, I start sweatin’ and blood starts comin’ out my nose.

BRADLEY-PROVODNIKOV

What’s your view of this weekend’s fight between Timothy Bradley and Ruslan Provodnikov? This fight has stinker written all over it. Plus I didn’t know ESPN is doing a Friday Night Fights show on HBO?

– Benedict

The Doc’s Response: There’s somebody watchin’ the Ack’, but I don’t know who it is, so I’m watchin’ my back. I can see him when I’m deep in the covers. When I awake I hear a call burnin’ rubber.

He owns a black hat like I own. A black suit and a cane like my own. Some might say,”Take a chill, B,” but I can’t G, cause there’s somebody trying to kill me.

I’m poppin’ in the clip when the wind blows. Every twenty seconds got me peepin’ out my window. Investigatin’ the joint for traps, checkin’ my telephone for taps. I’m starin’ at the woman on the corner, it’s messed up when your mind is playin’ tricks on you.

BABY BULL COMEBACK

What’s your opinion on Juan Diaz ending his 3 year retirement? I know he’s only 29, but unless he shows up looking like Timothy Bradley with the newfound power of Juan Manuel Marquez, I don’t see him beating any of the top guys at 135 or 140 pounds.

-John

The Doc’s Response: I make big money, I drive big cars, everybody know me, it’s like I’m a movie star, but late at night, somethin’ ain’t right. I feel I’m being tailed by the same sucker’s head lights. Is it that fool that I ran off the block? Or is it that clown last week that I shot? Or is it the one I beat for five thousand dollars, thought he had caine but it was Gold Medal Flour.

PAULIE MALIGNAGGI TELLS FANS TO SUCK IT

I heard an interview with WBA welterweight titleholder Paulie Maliganggi and he was acting like a total cocksucker. He said he would whip out his cock so the fans can suck it. He even went on to say that 99% of the fans that watch boxing are idiots and he could educate them when they watch a fight. What do you make of his comments?

-Gregory

The Doc’s Response: Reach under my seat grabbed my popper for the suckers, ain’t no use to me lyin’ I was scareder than a motherfucker. Hooked a left into Popeye’s and bailed out quick. If it’s goin’ down let’s get this shit over with. Here they come just like I figured, I got my hand on the chrome plated trigger.

What I saw will make your ass start gigglin’, three black crippled and crazy senior citizens. I live by the sword, I take my boys everywhere I go because I’m paranoid. I keep lookin’ over my shoulder and peepin’ around corners, my mind is playin’ tricks on me.

WARD vs. MONEY MAYWEATHER?

I’m totally tripping over Andre Ward’s unexpected challenge to Money Mayweather. It serves Money right for being a little bitch and starting a beef with a guy he has a built-in excuse not to fight. What do you think about Ward saying he would fight Floyd at 160 pounds, but then backtracking and saying he’s not looking to fight Floyd?

-Francis

The Doc’s Response: Day by day it’s more impossible to cope, I feel like I’m the one that’s doing dope. Can’t keep a steady hand because I’m nervous, every Sunday mornin’ I’m in service. Prayin’ for forgiveness and tryin’ to find an exit out the business. I know the Lord is lookin’ at me, but yet it’s hard for me to feel happy. I often drift while I drive, havin’ fatal thoughts of suicide. BANG and get it over with and then I’m worry-free, but that’s nonsense. I got a little boy to look after and if I die then my child would be a bastard.

WHAT’S NEXT FOR B-HOP

How much longer can Bernard Hopkins last beating all these young guys? I think fights against Nathan Cleverly and maybe the winner of Kessler-Froch would be good scraps, but it’s nothing to get excited about. What do you think of Bernard moving up to heavyweight to fight for Povetkin’s paper title?

-Paul

The Doc’s Response: I had a woman down with me, but to me it seems like she was down to get me. She helped me out in this, but to me she was just another chick. Now she’s back with her mother, now I’m realizing that I love her. Now I’m feelin’ lonely, my mind is playin’ tricks on me.

BRONER DUCKING TOP 140-POUNDERS

Adrien Broner is pulling a straight up bitch move by jumping from 135 to 147 without fighting Matthysse, Garcia-Judah winner, Peterson and Amir Khan. Fighting for Malignaggi’s paper title is weak. I guess he really is a Mayweather clone. Will we ever see him fight someone who can beat him?

-Alexander

The Doc’s Response: This year Halloween fell on a weekend, me and Geto Boys are trick-or-treatin’. Robbin’ little kids for bags till an old man got behind our rags. So we speeded up the pace took a look back, and he was right before our face. He’d be in for a squabble no doubt so I swung and tried to take him out. He was goin’ down we planned, but this wasn’t no ordinary man. He stood about six or seven feet, now that’s the creep I’d be seein’ in my sleep.

JULIO CESAR CHAVEZ JR. RETURN

When Is Chavez Jr. returning? Is he going to be a middleweight or jump up to 168 and fight Andre Ward?

-Adrian

The Doc’s Response: So we triple-teamed on him, droppin’ them 5th ward B’s on him. The more I swung the more blood flew then he disappeared and my boys disappeared too. Then I felt just like a fiend it wasn’t even close to Halloween. It was dark as fuck on the streets my hands were all bloody from punching on the concrete. God damn homie my mind is playin’ tricks on me.