March 21, 2016
Have you packed on a few pounds?
You can’t move a bowel even if your life depended on it? You just sit there pushing, straining and there’s no give?
And the few times you do, your stool makes loud, wet cannonball splashes that leaves your ass wet and dirty? Well there’s hope.
Constipation is generally described as being full of shit and no one knows more about that than Torpedo Falls.
If you caught a snore with THE GODS OF BORE, then you can’t miss Torpedo Falls latest crock of shit.
ON THE CRAPPER starts where THE GODS OF BORE leaves off. Torpedo brings you warrior poetry and revisionist boxing history from the best seat in the house. ON THE CRAPPER will leave you not knowing whether to shit or wind your watch.
Don’t flush in a rush. Remember in order to look out for number one, you have to go number two.
ON THE CRAPPER works by naturally moving your bowels.
The pretentious prose will loosen your stool and allow you to shit with ease. Anal fissures and hemorrhoids will be a thing of the past.
Ask your doctor if ON THE CRAPPER is right for you.
People with diarrhea should not read ON THE CRAPPER and is best used as directed.
Torpedo Falls has shit the bed with his latest collection of masturbatory historical fiction. If your bowel movements have run dry, give ON THE CRAPPER a try.
ON THE CRAPPER (Turd Publishing, hardcover, 632 pages) is now available where laxatives and other constipation products are sold.
Don’t be a snapper, purchase your copy of ON THE CRAPPER today!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Torpedo Falls is a member of the Saving Historical Information Team (SHIT), Preservation Of Organized Prizefighting (POOP), Coalition of Researchers for the Advancement of Pugilism (CRAP) and is a founding member of the Transcendental Universal Rankings Department (TURD). He was born and raised in Sleepy Hallow, New York.