CompuBox Punch Stat Guy Out Of Action With Finger Injury

April 8, 2016

Counting and inputting punches into a laptop is a simple job, but not when you have¬†two broken fingers. Boxing’s premier data-entry superstar finds himself on the sidelines after suffering a freak injury.

CompuBox Punch Stat Guy broke his right index and middle fingers Thursday. He’s expected to miss Saturday night’s fight between Timothy Bradley and Manny Pacquiao.

He will be out of action for eight-to-twelve weeks and will not require surgery. Compubox Punch Stat Guy will wear a splint to stabilize his fingers.

The injury occurred in a taxi cab on the Las Vegas strip, when CompuBox Punch Stat Guy tried finger blasting an intoxicated college co-ed.

The unidentified woman sneezed while CompuBox Punch Stat Guy jammed his fingers into her vagina.

The woman sustained minor injuries. She was treated and released at the scene by emergency personnel. The extent of her injuries are not considered to be serious.

CompuBox Punch Stat Guy experienced immediate swelling, pain, tenderness and loss of range of motion. The pain was so intense he did not wash off the dried mucus secretions from his fingers.