March 7, 2016
Floyd Mayweather retired as the greatest fighter of his generation. His long list of accomplishments include an undefeated 49-0 record, world titles in five different weight classes and a WrestleMania victory against the 500-pound giant The Big Show.
Now that Floyd has reached the end of his fighting career he’s looking forward to the next phase of his life as a promoter. In order to make the kind of money he made in the ring he’s looking for the next greatest fighter ever.
Here are the prerequisites a fighter must possess to be anointed as the heir to the TBE throne:
- Pass a literacy test. Score higher than a third grader.
- Must know how to drink water from a cup or bottle to prevent dehydration.
- The ability to multi-task. Keeping that pimp hand strong by juggling eight women at the same time.
- Learn how to inject lidocaine into your own hands and administer IV fluids.
- Must have the stamina to spar 27 straight rounds without any rest periods.
- Have a full understanding of your Miranda rights.
- Must be able to withstand libelous and catty 10,000 word essays from the “Dean of Boxing writers” Thomas Hauser.
- Must have the will to work for no less than $30 million per fight because anything less is just “slave wages.”
- Beating women…in bowling. You know Floyd likes to bowl right?