By Pepe El Toro
May 13, 2013
Okay amigos, my jefe wants me to make a list of the top ten boxers putazo for putazo. Doc was originally asked to make a list but his list ended up in the basura because he added Floyd Mayweather Jr. plus nine members of Master P’s entourage.
Here we go, vamonos!
1. Floyd Mayweather Jr.- Little Floyd displayed excellent defensive skills and did not show any ring rust. We all know that Floyd always had problems with his manos de papel, that’s why he carefully picks his victims. Floyd is #1 on my list because he beat a ghost and his friend Jesus.
2. Andre Ward - Best fighter in the world and he will make a career in the worst divisions. Too bad Andre does not have any future competition to build an impressive resume. Looks like the “Super 6″ (that later became 7) tournament will be the highlight of his career.
3. Juan Manuel Marquez - World class athlete, world class boxer, and world class citizen. This boxing geek is not a borracho and takes very good care of himself. He should probably be #2 for destroying Pacquiao formerly ranked 1(a) on all P4P lists.
4. Abner Mares - This little guy keeps moving up in weight and beats up good opposition. He bullies bigger fighters and at the same time he looks and struggles like the little guy should. If Abner can steal Manny Pacquiao’s secret, he’ll finish his opponents a lot faster as he moves up in weight. Abner recently told Julio Cesar Chavez Sr. that he feels too small to be a featherweight. Good job Abner and congratulations on your heavyweight size huevos.
5. Wladimir Klitschko - He’s not flashy, you might not like him (I don’t), and you might not care. He’s been the #1 big hombre for a long time and you have to respect the champ.
6. Adrien Broner - He will start building a resume a la Floyd Mayweather Jr. This guy is only a few years away from becoming el numero uno. He’s also a few more baby mommas, a few lines of cocaine, and a few purple drinks from ruining it.
7. Timothy Bradley - I thought he lost seven rounds against Pacquiao and his last fight was too close to call. He fought Pacquiao with two bad ankles for most of the fight and he fought Ruslan Provodnikov with a concussion for most of the fight. His huevos got him on the list and he’s still undefeated.
8. Mikey Garcia - Awesome skills and well coached. He can easily replace Abner Mares at #4.
9. Danny Garcia - He’s strong and he’s exciting. If he can beat a good fighter in his prime (Amir Kahn doesn’t count), I might feel better about putting him on this list. If a good fighter in his prime beats him, I might feel better because his dad (the east coast version of Ruben Guerrero) might finally shut his mouth.
10. Roman Gonzalez - Who? Gonzalez! Not Pavlyuchenko, not Polanski, not Hernandez, not Harper, not Gabriel, none of those estupidos. He should probably rank higher.
Honorable mention: Canelo Alvarez, Mike Alvarado and Brandon Rios. Canelo and Rios could be ranked high on the list later this year.
A la chingada! Nonito Donaire - He’s thirty years old and relies on his left hook to knockout outgunned opposition. A win over Juan Manuel Lopez, Abner Mares, Mikey Garcia, Orlando Salido, or Rigondeaux will get him back on the list.
A la chingada! Manny Pacquiao - He got robbed against Bradley, he got a gift decision against Marquez before he was robbed, and then Marquez put him to sleep. He might be back on the list when he wakes up.
A la chingada! Sergio Martinez - This guy is done, he’s shot, his legs are gone, his hands are no mas, he’s not tough enough and he is too familiar with the canvas. The classic guy that can dish it but can’t take it. He was overrated because of his brutal knockout of a very tall and overrated welterweight Paul Williams. Looks like Chavez Jr. will discard what he damaged in that 12th round.